Investment Model
It is inevitable that relationships with siblings will have problems. However, if the relationship with them is worth saving, there are ways to do so. There is a model known as the investment model that will explain the conditions if people are meant to stay together (in this case siblings). Siblings and their relationships between each other depend a lot on reward and cost. If our siblings are giving us some sort of reward, we tend to enjoy their company more. Time invested in a sibling relationship can affect how happy and healthy it is. The more time you invest with your sibling, the more likely they are to enjoy being with you. Satisfaction comes into play if the rewards are outweighing the costs. In order for us to keep healthy relationships with our siblings, we must be satisfied by spending time with them. Finally, committing ourselves to making better relationships with them is the last part of this model that can make or break our relationships with our siblings.
It is inevitable that relationships with siblings will have problems. However, if the relationship with them is worth saving, there are ways to do so. There is a model known as the investment model that will explain the conditions if people are meant to stay together (in this case siblings). Siblings and their relationships between each other depend a lot on reward and cost. If our siblings are giving us some sort of reward, we tend to enjoy their company more. Time invested in a sibling relationship can affect how happy and healthy it is. The more time you invest with your sibling, the more likely they are to enjoy being with you. Satisfaction comes into play if the rewards are outweighing the costs. In order for us to keep healthy relationships with our siblings, we must be satisfied by spending time with them. Finally, committing ourselves to making better relationships with them is the last part of this model that can make or break our relationships with our siblings.
There are 4 basic response choices that siblings have when dealing with problems in their relationships.
1-exit
2-neglect
3-voice
4-loyalty
We can view these as either constructive or destructive responses. With our siblings, if we enjoy spending time with them and certainly love them, it is important that we have constructive behaviors. For example, if we are in a big fight with our sister or brother, and we talk about the problem at hand calmly (voice), followed by working on and allowing tie for things to get better (loyalty), then we can avoid ruining the relationship (exit). There is a model that explains all of this very well known as the Model of Accommodation:
Destructive Constructive
Active Exit (leaving) Voice (problem solving)
Passive Neglect (letting it get worse) Loyalty (waiting for it to get better)
1-exit
2-neglect
3-voice
4-loyalty
We can view these as either constructive or destructive responses. With our siblings, if we enjoy spending time with them and certainly love them, it is important that we have constructive behaviors. For example, if we are in a big fight with our sister or brother, and we talk about the problem at hand calmly (voice), followed by working on and allowing tie for things to get better (loyalty), then we can avoid ruining the relationship (exit). There is a model that explains all of this very well known as the Model of Accommodation:
Destructive Constructive
Active Exit (leaving) Voice (problem solving)
Passive Neglect (letting it get worse) Loyalty (waiting for it to get better)
Remedial Strategies
There are several remedial strategies that can help mend your relationship with your sibling(s). The six types of remedial strategies are apologies and concessions, appeasement, explanations, denials, avoidance and evision, and relationship talk (Close Encounters, 2014).
There are several remedial strategies that can help mend your relationship with your sibling(s). The six types of remedial strategies are apologies and concessions, appeasement, explanations, denials, avoidance and evision, and relationship talk (Close Encounters, 2014).
Apologies and Concessions: Apologizing and claiming fault is one of the most used remedial strategies. Apologies are most effective within siblings when they are sincere and voluntary. The following chart shows how apologizing is the best form of remedial strategies.
A study done by Schumann in 2012 found that when the more satisfying the relationship the more the apology was seen as sincere and as a positive instead of a negative (Schumann, K. (2012). A study done by Whol in 2012 found that certain cultures are less likely than other to apologize. Which is good to keep in mind that apologizing might be more acceptable in certain culture than others. In other culture you are more likely to deny or avoid the situation instead of apologizing which could affect ones pride among siblings (Whol, 2012).
A study done by Schumann in 2012 found that when the more satisfying the relationship the more the apology was seen as sincere and as a positive instead of a negative (Schumann, K. (2012). A study done by Whol in 2012 found that certain cultures are less likely than other to apologize. Which is good to keep in mind that apologizing might be more acceptable in certain culture than others. In other culture you are more likely to deny or avoid the situation instead of apologizing which could affect ones pride among siblings (Whol, 2012).
Appeasement: Appeasement is when you try to compensate for something you did to someone. For example if you break your siblings bike and you appease them by giving them your own bike as a way to sooth the situation. It is possible for the person to just say they are sorry but not actually mean it. It's possible for the person to not remember asking for forgiveness and causing issues in the future. A study by Philpot find that relationships in which the forgiveness is forgotten it will affect the relationship in a negative way. (Philpott, 2011)
Explanations: is used by to try to explain the situation by the individual and takes blame for his actions. The explanation can include excuses to justify the persons behavior.
Denials: Denial is when you use excuses and justifications on behalf of what occurred. The individual doesn't admit to be at fault. Many siblings use this when they don't want to admit fault to each other for various reasons that could include getting grounded if they are found to be at fault.
Avoidance and Evasion: This is used when individuals try to avoid talking about the issue. There are siblings who would rather avoid the transgression then affect the relationship by bringing it up. It is possible that by not facing the issue now it may surface again in the future.
Relationship Talk: is about having a dialogue about how the transgression affects the relationship as a whole. For example the siblings can say " we have a strong sibling relationship, we are strong enough to surpass this issue".
Chapter Review Quiz!
Q: Explain the model of investment.
Q: What are the four types of results in the Model of Accommodation?
Q: Explain two types of remedial strategies.
Q: Describe three types of remedial strategies
Q: Explain the model of investment.
Q: What are the four types of results in the Model of Accommodation?
Q: Explain two types of remedial strategies.
Q: Describe three types of remedial strategies