Maintaining a Relationship With Your Sibling(s)There's no better relationship to maintain then a relationship between siblings. Your brother(s) and/or sister(s) will always be there for you, through thick and thin. They will provide you will countless memories and support throughout your life. However, it is important to engage in relational maintenance behaviours in order for these relationships to persist as the years go by. It is also important to refrain from using antisocial maintenance behaviours because these tend to decrease closeness in relationships. Lastly, another important factor to consider in a sibling relationship is if both people get a fair share of resources through this relationship.
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Relational maintenance involves keeping a relationship in existence or keeping a relationship in satisfactory condition (Guerrero 2014).
These are behaviors that are positive and promote relational closeness, as well as trust and liking. There are a wide variety of proposal behaviors but for sibling the most important ones are positivity, openness and routine talk, assurance, supportiveness and humour. Positivity Brightens a Relationship Positivity is making interactions pleasant and enjoyable. This means that when you plan to do an activity with your sibling make that time fun. This will bring you closer and make you want to hang out with them more. Positivity also includes giving compliments to each other and acting cheerful. So for instance, even though you live under the same roof and you see them everyday, when you do something fun together make sure to let the other person know that you had a good time or compliment them on their attire or appearance during that outing. Openness and Routine Talk It might not seem necessary to have routine talk with your siblings, but if you didn’t, what would you talk about? The fact that you grow up with them and see them almost everyday makes it necessary to talk about everyday things since you probably already know a lot about them. So just talking to your sibling about your day is a great way to maintain the relationship and keep it from de-escalating. However, sharing some personal information with your sibling is also important to keep the relationship close. Assurance This behavior means giving your sibling assurance that you will forever by part of their lives and discussing the future because eventually you will both move out of your parents house and wont be living together. This kind of conversation will eventually come up, but knowing that both siblings want to keep in touch will make this turning point easier to handle. You and your sibling may decide to live in proximity to each other so keeping contact will be easier. Supporting your Sibling(s) This involves being there in times of need for your sibling and giving each other social support and encouragement (Guerrero 2014). For example, if your sibling goes through a hard breakup, you might take them out to lunch or go shopping to take their mind off of it. This could also be a good opportunity to just listen to what your sibling has to say about the breakup. Either way, you are showing them that you care and are there for them through it all. Another way to show you brother and/or sister that you support them is to make sacrifices for them. Humor In every relationship it’s important to have humor. For siblings, the use of humor makes interactions more enjoyable and there is a sense of connection when you have inside jokes with you sibling. Also the use of funny nicknames or nicknames that only your sibling can use creates a close bound. It is important however to understand that even though humor is a necessary part of a sibling relationship, it can’t always be about joking around. There are times when the interaction must include some seriousness otherwise the relationship won’t be as close as you would want. |
These are all examples of prosocial behaviors discussed by Guerrero that help maintain a relationship between siblings; however there are also other behaviors that help maintain a sibling relationship. As Julie Nelson wrote in her article on KSL.com doing joint activities together, creating shared memories and giving the relationship time are also behaviors that help a sibling relationship last.
Want to Play With Me?
As young children, it is important to play sports together or to do art together to bring your sibling relationship closer. By doing this, it gives you quality time with your sibling and the opportunity to connect and get closer without necessarily using words. As you grow up, shared activities may change. Instead of playing soccer in your backyard you may go shopping with your older sister or go wine tasting with your brother. These activities all do the same thing. They give you quality time with your sibling without any outside distractions.
Do You Remember This?
As a child you are usually forced to take part in family activities. But looking back on it a couple years later you are must likely to treasure those moments. As you grow up, you may go back down memory lane with your sibling(s) and talk about all the fun times you went camping together or how you and your brother and/or sister snuck out of the hotel on a family vacation. These memories will last a lifetime, so making sure to spend quality time together even once you or your sibling(s) moves out is important. Creating memories with your sibling(s) is a good way to stay close to your sibling(s).
Don’t Force It
As children there is most likely going to be a lot of fighting or arguing between you and your siblings. If one sibling wants to spend every second of every day with their older sibling, this may be detrimental to the relationship. So by not forcing your presence on you siblings can lead to a relationship where both people value the time spent with each other. Remember that you are siblings for life and that you will have countless years together, so there is no need to be annoying to your older or younger sibling(s) because this could cause a glitch in the relationship.
These are all behaviors that help a relationship, so make sure to understand that positivity, openness and routine talk, assurances, support and humor are all prosocial behaviors that help a sibling relationship last. Other behaviors that help sibling relationships is doing activities together, creating memories together and sometimes giving your sibling time alone.
Want to Play With Me?
As young children, it is important to play sports together or to do art together to bring your sibling relationship closer. By doing this, it gives you quality time with your sibling and the opportunity to connect and get closer without necessarily using words. As you grow up, shared activities may change. Instead of playing soccer in your backyard you may go shopping with your older sister or go wine tasting with your brother. These activities all do the same thing. They give you quality time with your sibling without any outside distractions.
Do You Remember This?
As a child you are usually forced to take part in family activities. But looking back on it a couple years later you are must likely to treasure those moments. As you grow up, you may go back down memory lane with your sibling(s) and talk about all the fun times you went camping together or how you and your brother and/or sister snuck out of the hotel on a family vacation. These memories will last a lifetime, so making sure to spend quality time together even once you or your sibling(s) moves out is important. Creating memories with your sibling(s) is a good way to stay close to your sibling(s).
Don’t Force It
As children there is most likely going to be a lot of fighting or arguing between you and your siblings. If one sibling wants to spend every second of every day with their older sibling, this may be detrimental to the relationship. So by not forcing your presence on you siblings can lead to a relationship where both people value the time spent with each other. Remember that you are siblings for life and that you will have countless years together, so there is no need to be annoying to your older or younger sibling(s) because this could cause a glitch in the relationship.
These are all behaviors that help a relationship, so make sure to understand that positivity, openness and routine talk, assurances, support and humor are all prosocial behaviors that help a sibling relationship last. Other behaviors that help sibling relationships is doing activities together, creating memories together and sometimes giving your sibling time alone.