Conflict in Relationships:
Defining Conflict: Conflict occurs between independent people. It also can involve scarce resources and incompatible goals and perceived interference between the individuals. (Close Encounters, 2014)
Effects of conflict in Siblings: Siblings are prone to have arguments with each other just as likely as any other relationships. Conflict between siblings is intensified during their teenage years (Close Encounters, 2014). This can be because of the nature of living in the same house. Once they move out of the house they are also vulnerable to arguments but not as frequently.
Defining Conflict: Conflict occurs between independent people. It also can involve scarce resources and incompatible goals and perceived interference between the individuals. (Close Encounters, 2014)
Effects of conflict in Siblings: Siblings are prone to have arguments with each other just as likely as any other relationships. Conflict between siblings is intensified during their teenage years (Close Encounters, 2014). This can be because of the nature of living in the same house. Once they move out of the house they are also vulnerable to arguments but not as frequently.
Conflict Styles: There are various styles of conflict that occur in these types of relationships. The way you handle conflict if more important than the number of arguments you have.
Competitive fighting:
- This style of conflict is direct and uncooperative.
- Competing to defeat the partner/win the argument.
- It’s a win-lose orientation (I win, you lose).
- Tactics include criticisms, blaming, hostile questioning.
- Example: When two siblings are trying to make their point as to which TV show to who gets to use the TV and watch their favorite TV show at 6pm. Tactics could include arguing about one of the sibling always using the TV. Only one of the siblings will get to watch their TV show on the TV so it’s a win-lose situation which is direct and uncooperative.
Compromising:
- Compromising is direct and partially cooperative
- Part win, part-lose orientation
- Quality of compromise varies on how mutually acceptable the outcome is.
- Tactics include making the middle ground, alternating, appealing to fairness.
- Example: If the two siblings are arguing as to who gets to each the candy bar. They can decide to split the candy.
- An example of compromising can be two couples agreeing half way in regard to who is going to pick up the kids after school on which day of the week. The days would be evenly split. But the result could still be partly a lose.
Collaborating:
- This style is direct and cooperative.
- Focus on creative problem solving.
- Win-win orientation.
- Tactics include staying to topic, problem-solving, brainstorming, empathy.
- Example: If the siblings share a car and one of them wants to go to the mall and the other one wants to go to get Greek food. They can work together and go to both locations instead of arguing.
Indirect Fighting:
- Passive aggressive strategies.
- Win-lose orientation.
- Tactics include the silent treatment, eye rolling, sarcasm.
- Example: When two siblings decide to give each other the silent treatment instead of talking about the issue at hand.
Avoiding:
- Indirect/Partially Cooperative
- --Can lead to a lose-lose situation if left unresolved
- --Can also be beneficial for both parties
- --Tactics include denial, changing/avoiding topics, leaving the room
- --Example: Siblings who ignore each other instead of facing the issue.
Yielding:
- Indirect/Cooperative
- Lose-win orientation (I lose, you win)
- Problematic if one person always gives in, beneficial if issue is more important to one partner
- Tactics include appeasement, passive acceptance of alternative positions
- Example: The siblings deciding that she is willing to do all of the chores around the house since her sibling works all day even if its not fair since they also works all day.
Accommodation:
- The accomodation theory is composed of three parts. Part one is that it individuals are likely to relatiate when the other individual reacts in a negative fasion. Part two is that the individual is able to overcome this initial tendency and engage in a way that is cooperative and mantains the relationship. The third step is that individuals who are in satisfiying relationships are more likely to use acommodation that those who are in unsatisfying relationshiops. (Close Relationship, 2014)
- Accommodation is used by siblings when they decide to accommodate the the conflict in a way that doesn’t negatively affect the relationship.
- In a study about behavioral accomodation between close relationsips, they researched undergraduates at a university. They took a look at how men and women percieve the quality of the relationship. They found that partner blame affects the behavioral accomodation of the person (Fletcher, 1999). If you and your sibling are not getting along then your behavioral accommodation is likely to not take each others relationship into account.
Attributions
Attributions: is the “perceptual process of assigning reasons or causes to another’s behavior” (Close Encounters, 2015)
The following diagram shows how person A’s behvarious affects person B’s attribution and response.
For example if you have a negative unhappy relationship with your sibling and you get in a argument. If she’s usually stuborn then you ar not liliky to agree on your conflict so you have a negative response from both.
It is proven that if you have a good relationship with your significant other then your attribution in a conflict situation is more positive then negative. A study by Mclaren found that negative attributions were most likely going to be responded negatively by individuals. (Mclaren, 2014)
According to another study of close relationships, the current status of the relationships dictates the attribution used in conflicts (Fincham, 1987).
Attributions: is the “perceptual process of assigning reasons or causes to another’s behavior” (Close Encounters, 2015)
The following diagram shows how person A’s behvarious affects person B’s attribution and response.
For example if you have a negative unhappy relationship with your sibling and you get in a argument. If she’s usually stuborn then you ar not liliky to agree on your conflict so you have a negative response from both.
It is proven that if you have a good relationship with your significant other then your attribution in a conflict situation is more positive then negative. A study by Mclaren found that negative attributions were most likely going to be responded negatively by individuals. (Mclaren, 2014)
According to another study of close relationships, the current status of the relationships dictates the attribution used in conflicts (Fincham, 1987).
Chapter Review Quiz
Q: Give three examples of conflict styles.
Q: Which of the conflict styles two promotes a mostly positive outcome for both individuals?
Q: How does attribution affect conflict?
Q:What are the three parts of the accommodation theory?
Q: Give three examples of conflict styles.
Q: Which of the conflict styles two promotes a mostly positive outcome for both individuals?
Q: How does attribution affect conflict?
Q:What are the three parts of the accommodation theory?